One of my favorite stories about Buddha is this one. The night before his enlightenment, the Buddha fought a great battle with the Demon God Mara, who attacked the then Bodhisattva Siddhartha Guatama with everything he had: lust, greed, anger, doubt, etc. Having failed, Mara left in disarray on the morning of the Buddha’s enlightenment.
Yet, it seems Mara was only temporarily discouraged. Even after the Buddha had become deeply revered throughout India, Mara continued to make unexpected appearances. The Buddha’s loyal attendant, Ananda, always on the lookout for any harm that might come to his teacher, would report with dismay that the “Evil One” had again returned. Instead of ignoring Mara or driving him away, the Buddha would calmly acknowledge his presence, saying, “I see you, Mara.”
He would then invite him for tea and serve him as an honored guest. Offering Mara a cushion so that he could sit comfortably, the Buddha would fill two earthen cups with tea, place them on the low table between them, and only then take his own seat. Mara would stay for a while and then go, but throughout the Buddha remained free and undisturbed.
When Mara visits us, in the form of fear, anger or doubt, rather than trying to push those feelings away or ignore their presence, welcome them as a part of your human experience. We all experience these emotions from time to time, and we know that all states of being and all feelings do eventually end; nothing is permanent. Allow yourself to sit with all parts of yourself and accept them as human. If you had a friend who was experiencing sadness or anger, would you push them away or ignore them? Of course not! Why is it that we can never afford the same compassion and kindness to ourselves that we would readily give to others?
This story reminds me of Rumi’s poem “The Guest House,” which I have kept pinned to the wall in my office for many years.
The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
Once, on retreat, one of my teachers led us in a meditation practice where we were asked to imagine that it was our last moment on Earth, that we were going to die in one minute. She asked us to notice how that thought changed how we perceived our current state. How delicious was every single sensation, every single emotion, knowing that it was to be our last? Even when we are experiencing pain, can we make space for this pain and even befriend it, as if it were the last sensation we would ever have? If you felt too cold, or your left foot was numb or your knee ached, how precious would that discomfort be if you knew you would never feel it again? All human experiences are this way; wonderful and precious and amazing, because of their impermanence. Rather than pushing unpleasant feelings away, sit with your experiences and find out what they have to teach you, what they are making space for, or how they are changing you. You may be surprised to find out that the moment you decide to embrace your anxieties and fears is the same moment they choose to leave.
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